Wednesday, October 14, 2009

10/13 - Dirty mind???

Ok, you tell me if it is only me or if someone else see what I see here.
First of all, Swedes DO have a reputation of "acting out/being free" when it comes to sex and alcohol. So when a Swedish fitness group post an ad in the Swedish Church (!) in London... you might want to select your words a bit more carefully.

"Sweat and smile, Swedish style"

"A unique style of exercise - we call it 'Swedercise'."

"Free trial, and why not bring a friend"

I would say, "is Swedish massage" included here too?"

I mean, not that either Victoria Silvstedt or that Anka wife have helped the reputation of the Swedes, but this, in the church?.... hmm.....

I'm not sure if I'm gonna go to this "Sweat and smile, Swedish style"... I think I'm gonna have a hard time to find a friend to bring. A girl friend that is, cause I have already had quite a few male friends volunteering to come. :)

"Sweat and smile, Swedish style"

10/12 - Celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving in UK

Oh no, the location is not gonna stop me. Thanksgiving is time for family, friends and good food.
Well, I have one family member here...

So, you need to bring the thanksgiving spirit into the shoebox. Since it is tiny, you don't need much. Ok, so some leafs and some candles, that would do.
Finding pretty leafs was a challenge. Apparently, they nicely hang green (for green leaf trees) or red (for red leaf trees), then they fall down and are dead rotten, ugly brown from the second they touch the ground. So, what do you do... you need to find an old tree and PICK the leafs from the tree. And where do you find the trees? Well, at the cemetery. :)
Oh, I also have to add that not everything is dead at the cemetery... there were TONS of tiny little bugs that were fully alive and kicking with my leafs..... And they were then all over the little shoe box... You see, even though the decoration was placed on the other side of the room, it only took them about 30 minutes to crawl over and climb up on my leg while I was eating!!

The decoration...

If I would have found a turkey, the goddamn bird would not have fit into the combined microwave/grill anyways... so what the heck... a bird is only a bird so why can't we have chicken.
Healthy as always... (?) i selected a few file's without the skin.

Gravy... yeah, some "brown sauce" that I put together.

Sure... after boiling them I realized I had nothing but a normal fork to make them mashed... Thank god I have a nasty and short temper... with my anger I had those potatoes mashed in minutes!! Shopped garlic and put some herbs in there too and it tasted the same in the end.

Of course, gosh, too much protein would kill me. I tossed in some carrots, broccoli etc. to flavor the bird and the bird flavored them. So it was a win-win for me. It tasted bird but was healthy as rabbit food.

Thanksgiving dinner in UK

Of course we had to have something unhealthy and still Canadian...
If you want to find something unhealthy in UK, you have come to the right place. So that was easy. Waffles and ice cream. Then something Canadian... well, maple syrup from the "Canada Shop"! Yummy, yummy in my tummy!!

Thanksgiving dessert

So, with decoration and dinner completed, now comes the part when you say what you are thankful for. Well, that we all are healthy of course... then there was silence.... cause honestly, this is gonna be a "dog year"... and we are not very thankful for it... but what the heck, at least the food and the drinks were good!

The positive thought for today:
I would have to give the "thumps up" for enjoying some Swedish snacks that I found in the Swedish store.


Sunday, October 11, 2009

10/11 - What you find in a grocery store in UK

And as everything has to be "ready made" to become as fat as possible in as short time as possible... I guess, why not squeeze in an egg in the ham, so you don't have to waste time and energy when you make your triangle sandwich?!

Egg-Ham slice

Just in case you urgently became a fan you find this in a grocery store....

Soccer crap

Friday, October 09, 2009

10/8 - Signing for living on top of a strip club

Sining for living on top of a strip club.
Yes, that is the case... The apartment is RIGHT on top of a strip club. You can actually pull out a fire latter and clime down the living room window and end up at the door step at the club.
NO, I won't post any pictures of the club, if you think you can climb up through the window. :)

Picture of the kitchen... where the real stuff happens - Gourmet food! :)

Regardless, feels good to have an address to tell the moving company and the customs when they try to get thorough all our California "stuff".... :) You know.. I'm sure a a house hold from San Francisco have to go through some special clarification before entering a royal country... :)

New family member - Mr. Sylvester
Well, Mr. Tiger can't be the only furry friend in bed, so please let me introduce Mr. Sylvester.
He had a nice welcoming to the "shoe box" and got to stay up late to watch the amazing movie " The Sweetest Thing" with Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate and Selma Blair....
Well, I gotta say... I think Mr. Sylvester was a chocked as we were....
Being born in a scandinavian country, you certainly have some reputation around the world.... (And no, Victoria Silvstedt did NOT help out at all...) but I gotta say... even this movie was a bit out of my taste... at least while I was eating... Being "dirty" is one thing... but you can at least do it with class!

Mr. Sylvester chocked to his new family culture
(No he is suppose to be laying down, he fell on his back watching the movie...)

The positive thought for today:
I would have to give the "thumps up" for singing for a place, not the best one... but at least an address for a year!
And for all my guy friends who all of the sudden find time to come and visit me... :)


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

10/6 -How come the food taste like nothing and the chips taste like real food?

Don't eat at Tootsies in Reading!
So, I have a question again,
How come the real food here taste like NOTHING! Today, I had a salad, so first of all the salad contained following: green salad leafs, broccoli and slices of beet. With that, I got a huge amount of guacamole, and "ranch dressing".
Now what is wrong with this picture?
A. Well, I don't mind cold boiled broccoli, but perhaps a slice of pepper or at least an onion to bring some flavor to the mix of tasteless broccoli and salad leafs.
B. And then guacamole? What on earth in this plate of salad goes with guacamole? And could they add something more green to the plate.
C. The so called "ranch dressing" was NOT a ranch dressing. It was way to watery and tasted sour!!!
No, I did not take a picture of this salad, I think you can imagine it in your head, I was GREEN!!!!
Oh, did I mentioned that the wine was not the best either. :)

A frog on wheels
So, after the "delightful" dinner we headed back to the parking garage to get our car. On the way to our car I spotted this "car"... or honestly, I don't know what to call it...
Not that the disgusting glass of wine I had withe the shitty salad had helped me laugh... I would have laughed anyway. And on top of that, this TINY little "frog on wheels" could not even be parked into the parking spot. To make the car look even more like a frog... it was also green. :)

The frog-car

Can you be more retarded?
So, outside of a large grocery store, we found this car. Sure, the person could be handicapped, but most like there are more problems with this persons brain than the rest of the body...
Not only were the lights on but he/she could not even part straight.... I mean, I truly suck at parking, and I'm a woman (yes, yes, most women can't park and if you don't agree, prove me wrong...) but this is just ridicules.

Retarded parking

A shrimps is a shrimp, a ham is ham... and they should not be flavors in chips!
So, now to the big question of the day?
How come, the food in UK don't taste ANYTHING, but then the snacks/chips taste like real food?
I have tried out several restaurants (and after 2 years in the country in the early 2000, I know by now)..... British food don't taste anything at all!
BUT, now you listen.... we all know the brits LOVE to snack on their individually wrapped bags of chips, which ACTUALLY taste like real food? How is that? Who makes these chips?? Are they imported, can they import food from this company too? Is there some one here in UK, can they hire him to train chefs at the restaurants?
The sad thing is.... the chips does taste good with the "real food flavor".... but c'mon... if I really wanted smoked ham, or shrimps, I rather eat smoked ham as a piece of ham, or shrimps in their own shape and texture... and not as fried chips....
So, all and all, sure, they taste good.... but shrimps are not suppose to sound and feel crunchy....

Taste better than dinner!

The positive thought for today:
I would have to give the "thumps up" for the food flavored chips. At least they tried. :)


Sunday, October 04, 2009

10/4 - Totally overplayed music on UK radio!

David Guetta Feat Akon - Sexy Bitch:

The Ian Carey Project - Get Shaky:

Jade Ewen - My Man:

Medina - You and I:

Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart:

La Roux - Bulletproof:

Sean Kingston- Fire Burning On The Dance Floor:

Jason Derulo - Whatcha Say:

Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love:

Jay Sean - Down: Closed-Captioned:

Madonna - Celebration:

The positive thought for today:
I would have to give the "thumps up" for the Madonna song. It is great and I she is a brilliant artist!


10/4 - Trying to find things I need and want.....

A day in Windsor... Felt good to see people that care about what they wear... compared to Reading... Tons of tourists too which I actually don't mind at all, makes you feel "part of the crowd"... :)

The castle

A local florist in Windsor (thank God they don't have earthquakes in this country... this house would not last a second..)

Finding good food in Windsor
You do get hungry by walking around in Windsor, so we decided to stop at a tapas place. It looked kinda nice, not fancy nice, but cool. You could tell they put some effort into the design and comfort, so you would think that they would do the same about the food. But then when we got the food we remembered... we were in UK. Not even the poor Indians have been able to spice up these Brits, even after 50 years of trying... It tasted NOTHING. Now you would think, when you order a paella, even these soggy little devil beans would taste at least something that it has been mixed with, but you are wrong. They don't even taste the water they have been boiled in.
You would also think that when you order something called spicy, it would at least taste a bit more... but then you are wrong again... it tasted only the fatty oil they were swimming in...

The beans the tasted nothing!

The "spicy" sausage, that tasted nothing but oil.

Again, I'm really trying to stay positive, so I took a picture of something that I did like at the restaurant. I found it in the ceiling, it was a heater. It was bright light, it was warm and it was the opposite of everything else that I could find!

The light and warm moment of the day

Finding a gym in Windsor
Part of the mission today was to find a gym in Windsor. We went to 2 places. The first one was a local little club called "The Windsor Club". Now if you think that sounds charming, think again.... it was a tiny little crappy place where the bar in the gym (yes, do I need to remind you we are in UK, of course they have a bar at the gym!!) was bigger than the weight training "corner". And the honestly had more different types of alcohol, beer on draft than I could find equipment that I could work out with... Oh, do I need to say that the places smelled like a British bar too, yes.... alcohol and sweat!

The second place is called Windsor Leisure Centre. It also stank badly, but it was not only from sweat.... you see, in the WHOLE gym AND swimming area (where it was really hot and very humid) they had a full thick and soft carpet. No, I'm not "pulling your leg". It was a baby blue carpet that I'm sure other people in UK also have in their living room. However, they did NOT have a bar full of alcohol and they did have quite a lot of equipment, including a indoor soccer hall.

Ok, so now over to the next shock with this place... the board on the wall that lists the personal trainers.... Ok, seriously, I'm not super fit, but I would like to be. So, you enter a gym and you look for a personal trainer.... do you want some one to inspire you, some one that you can take the advise from seriously, some one that might even look a bit like you would like to look like, well in that case... Fire ALL people on that board. 90% of the trainers were seriously FAT and the rest 10% were bony... not skinny/slim... no... they look like they had NO muscle at all.... I must admit, I think I had more muscles on my arms than the skinny people on that board. So, back to the fat asses... The women... I could not tell what level on the front side of their body that was boobs or bellies.... (yes, they had several)... and you know who also had boobs? THE MEN!! But then it is of course called "bitch tits". Now tell me... to get pushed around at a gym, take exercise advice and nutrition guidance from people that are not chubby, but FAT... How is that going to inspire me to work harder? How will I be able to think that what they say actually is going to help me?
And if that is the way they look, why are they working as a personal trainer? They must only do it for the money... cause they can't seriously want to help others if they can't manage to help them selves!?
I mean, who wold go to a dentist that has horrible teeth?

Finding a real estate agency in Windsor, on a Sunday....
In Windsor, we were trying to meet up with a real estate agency, but of course, they are closed on a Sunday. How silly of us to think a real estate agency would be opened on a day when families and most people are not working so the can view new homes.... Duh....
Anyway, the selected agency, that actually had a few nice apartment on their website did have a window with some apartments in too. For once, something in UK is a bit high-tech and they actually had a monitor with looping homes for sale and rent. Although... this is what is said on the monitor: "A truly professional Estate Agency Practice" perhaps you can't see it cause the professional agency has not updated and installed the LogMeIn version that they apparently downloaded...

The "truly professional Estate Agency Practice" that was so professional that we could not see the offerings...

Finding a car (?) on our way to Windsor
On our way to Windsor I spotted this car... don't ask me how the hell this door ended up back there, but it looks ridicules!!!

Silly looking "car"

Finding food in Reading that won't kill ya'
Back in the nice town Reading P' needed to eat dinner. As all grocery stores (except the emergency stores around the corner) close around 4pm here on Sundays, we hit the Chinese takeaway on our street. Ok, first of all, the names on the menu kinda kicked my stomach content around a bit, and then I saw the fish tank and what the water in there looked like, and all of the sudden I was not hungry any more. I thought, if that is how they treat something alive... how will they treat the dead animals that people eat... Nah, not for me thank you. P order something from the menu and while waiting for his food he reads on a "diploma" on the wall. The diploma is from some type of food health inspection organization... and on the diploma it states that this restaurant has earn "Level 2"..... I mean, why even bother to put up that diploma, why even have it framed? Why not just toss it in the fish tank?
P kinda lost his appetite too, but decided to try out the food anyway.
Back at the shoebox he got a bit nervous about getting sick from the food, so he did what I use to do to avoid getting sick: drink alcohol. Now, you don't want to waste that nice 16 year old Lagavulin unless you truly feel like enjoying it... and we did not have any Jameson in the shoebox at this time... so he cracked open one of the vodka bottles. You can absolutely trust an absolute! :)
And no, the fortune cookie did not give any message that would indicate that this year would get by any faster or better... not even when you ad "in bed" after the message, as a dear friend of mine taught me. :)

Food and stomach medicine at the same time - very classy...

Finding something I liked
Yes, trying to stay positive, I actually did see something I liked today, no, not the god damn car you silly.... I meant the dog!!!

Cute dog!

The positive thought for today:
I would have to give the "thumps up" for cute dog. No doubts there!